New Beginnings

I started selling Younique products this weekend. And it made me miss Mom. This might sound strange, because my mother was not a big make-up person. But it was her support I was missing. She would have been the first one to buy something from me (probably lip gloss). She would have told her friends (or strangers she talked to in line at Target) about it. She would have supported me. Encouraged me. Planned with me. Networked for me. It’s just a part of who she was. As a mother to me, but to so many others as well. Mom was always proud of her family’s and friends’ accomplishments, talents, achievements … Who else would record every. single. time. I sang in church, and actually go back and listen to them? Or drive to Indiana to see her niece’s college theater production? Or attend countless Quiz Bowl tournaments all over Arkansas to cheer for her son? Mom was an encourager. She always had something good to say about someone else. And, I’ve heard from so many of all of the wonderful (probably biased) things she had to say about me. I’ve never seen anyone who loved better … 

Father, help me to love people like my mother did. To encourage them. To strive to bring out the best in them. To point them toward You. 

2015 …

2015 was a battle from start to finish. Truly, it was the hardest year of my life so far. I’m honestly grateful it is over. 2016 brings with it hope. Hope that my family stays healthy. Hope that God grants me more strength. Hope that we see His glory in the midst of grief, and that we reflect that glory to those around us. Hope … for so many things. 

Romans 8 has come to mind so many times throughout this year. 

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (v.18)

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” (v.26)

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (v.28)

One thing that has helped me as I’ve navigated these past few months is to remember the things I have to be thankful for. Like the old hymn ‘Count Your Blessings.’

I’m so thankful for:

A husband who loves and supports me through the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. And even makes me laugh when I felt like that might not ever happen again.

A daddy who loved my mom so well. I wish everyone could experience someone loving them as much and as sacrificially as he loved Mom.

A brother who makes time to talk to me in the midst of his craziest, busiest days, when I’m missing mom more than I can explain to anyone else.

Extended family who have supported us while they’re grieving as well. Who have helped us get through the holidays, knowing they’re a little different for everyone this year. Who help us remember stories and qualities we love about Mom.

A church family who truly is the body of Christ. We never lacked visitors, supporters, encouragers, or FOOD! Sweet friends have cleaned house, mowed the yard, even put in a new downstairs bathroom so Mom didn’t have to navigate the stairs.

Friends who have come from near and far just to be with us. Who have spent days off sitting in a hospital room, or left their own families to be with me right after Mom died, or driven across the country with small children just to be here for Mom’s service. Who have cooked meals, or designed programs, or filled out Christmas stockings.

Employers who were so gracious to Dad, Adam, and me as we’ve walked through all of this. And co-workers who covered for all of us while we were off. 

I think that this year taught me just how loved my mom was, and just how loved my family and I are. 

I’ll end with the words to the hymn I referenced earlier:

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your blessings, see what God has done!

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your many blessings, see what God has done.

(Written by Johnson Oatman, Jr in 1897)