I was challenged by a friend to begin journaling my thoughts as a way of processing my grief. I’ll admit … I haven’t been doing much processing over the last few weeks, but as soon as I look at the date on the calendar, I know exactly how long Mom has been gone. 3 months and 1 day. It feels like so long … and yet, not long at all. I think about her every single day.
We survived our first Thanksgiving and Christmas without her. It was really strange. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real to me. I think it’s because Mom shaped my life so much, that everything I do reminds me of her. Holidays (she loved them so much!), baking, cleaning, shopping for clothes, wedding and baby showers (she was the best hostess!), going to church, reading Karen Kingsbury books … her memories are everywhere. But, as I remember, I’m thankful. Thankful that I had a good mom. One who loved Jesus, loved my daddy, and loved my brother and me. One who loved and impacted more people than I can fathom.
Tonight, this old Ray Boltz song came to my mind:
“Thank you for giving to the Lord. I am a life that was changed. Thank you for giving to the Lord. I am so glad you gave.
One by one they came Far as the eye could see. Each life somehow touched By your generosity. Little things that you had done, Sacrifices made Unnoticed on the earth In heaven, now proclaimed.”
I think of the lines of people who came to Mom’s visitation, and I know it’s nowhere close to all of the people she impacted in her life. If I am even a fraction of the amazing woman that she was, then I will be so thankful.
If you’ve made it to the end of this post, thank you for coming on this journey with me.
autumnpride 